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canonlydream
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Name: Chelsea
Location: Harrisonburg, Virginia, United States
Birthday: 6/3/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: God, the BEACH, sunshine, music, colors, seeing people smile, naps, laughing, flip flops, movies, stargazing, gummies, family, hugs, oreos, love stories, manderine oranges, lifting and working out, encouraging, randomness, children..especially babies, french, chocolate, track!, baby lotion, cereal, hoodies, water, vacations, awesome friends, pictures.
Expertise: shopping, hugging, running into things, laughing, and unfortunately procrastinating.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  undrapalmtree33
MSN: chels0305
Yahoo:  tootyfrooty05
Member Since:
11/5/2005
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| i've lost all my self esteem that i've worked to build & had help building for so long...idk what to do. i'm overthinking and overanalyzing as always. any suggestions?
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| i just dont feel like i have meaning in life anymore. my whole track career is ending with a crash instead of a bang..my motivation is slipping..my boyfriend shows little appreciation for me..and no one understands how rough this year has been. but its no one's fault but my own. the saddest part is..track has been my world..my motivation..my joy..and my strength..now the most joy i get out of it is making fun of my 'coach' who thinks he knows what he is doing, but def. does NOT. my form blows..i'm throwing what i threw at the end of my sophmore year...that school record is not even in the picture anymore..not even 40'. i used to feel upset every time i thought about graduation bc i knew that would be the end of my track career..but now i dont even care..i just want to graduate. that says a lot..i'm not a quitter..but its just not in me anymore. i wish i could talk about it more w/jon..but even he will never get it. i almost forget about meets now..i feel like i'm weaker and that my lifting form even sucks. what the hell..i wish this was all just a nightmare that i could shake and wake up from. i feel like everything is my fault.. i keep messing up..disappointing myself..ruining everything. i hate this. i try to look up, pray, be thankful for the little things. but track has been such a HUGE part of me..and now its just there i am not a quitter, no where near..but i'm just ready to be done..all of this is so draining.
God please give me the courage and the strength to keep going.
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| is it just my call to be used in life?? like seriously..
Dear God, please give me some answers..my heart has had more than enough.
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| thought for sure you were the one for me..sometimes im not so sure..so i guess God will let me know either way..somehow. i hope sooner than later, because i've already begun to invest my whole heart in you, because i love who you are. i'm just not so sure you appreciate me.
on a lighter note...first meet of my last track season this sat. @ cnu...WOO! so pumped:)
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| this has been the worst, most difficult past 3 weeks of my life..my heart hurts so bad. sometimes i feel like i don't deserve to be here anymore..but then i remember that record i need to shatter. i havent come this far, worked this hard, had this much fun..for nothing. it's gonna be tough, but i'm never gonna give up, ever.
God please give me the strength to be a good friend, leader, teammate, athlete, and supportive girlfriend. All i wanna do is get my life back on track, and finish out my senior year..with a happy ending. cause right now God, that bright light at the end is looking very dim.
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